Quote of the Day

“So sweet and delicious do I become,
when I am in bed with a man
who, I sense, loves and enjoys me,
that the pleasure I bring excels all delight,
so the knot of love, however tight
it seemed before, is tied tighter still.”
-Veronica Franco

Quote of the Day

“Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.” -C.S. Lewis

Apparently, the Christian Children’s Fund is changing their name by eliminating the Christian part. It will just be referred to as the “Children’s Fund”. Now, I say this as a proud pagan, but this seems to be a stupid move. I don’t know why the Fund feels the need to do this. There are plenty of secular funds dedicated to improving the lives of children in America and around the world where a non-Christian or non-affiliated religious person can contribute money if they so wish.

Watching the Colbert Report last week, a clip was shown of controlled outrage over the name change by a few people on Fox News Channel. One woman declared that she was going to cease giving contributions to the Fund. Wait a minute. Isn’t the point of contributing to a fund for children to help…the children? Who cares what the name is money is going toward improving the lives of children born into unfortunate circumstances? Only privilege people can afford to object to a charity name and use that as a reason to withhold contributing much-needed assistance to those for whom privilege is a distant concept.

University, Loans and Privilege

A few months ago, I read a fantastic article on Forbes.com entitled, “The Great College Hoax”. It discusses the fact that the educational version of the American Dream™ is letting a lot of people down. Education is more likely to pave the way to ruined credit, the poor house, and possibly a wasted four or five years than the public wants to admit. The article gave voice to what many of us university students wonder in our more pessimistic moments, “Is this going to be worth it?”

The comment section to the article proved to be just as interesting, though not in a positive way. It was the opinion of some that if a student cannot afford to pay for university out of pocket then they do not have a right to it and should get comfortable with trade jobs. I think that is an extremely classist statement for several reasons. I will admit that everyone is not college material. I also think that is okay. Some people are not cut out to be academics and they shouldn’t be shamed for that.

But this first reason rests on the assumption that rich is equal to intelligence. It is not. Just because a family has the money to pay for an university education does not mean that is the correct choice for the student. The former President George W. Bush is the epitome of that. The people rattling their class war sabres in the comment section would never suggest to a rich student that maybe going to university isn’t the best move, but that, say, becoming an electrician would be better. Not to disparage the intelligence of an electrician because that is dangerous and intricate work; one false move and you’re on another plane of existence. However, the amount of schooling isn’t as involved as becoming an accountant or historian.

There are many students who fall in between the cracks as far as financing university education is concerned. They are smart enough to get into college but not smart enough to receive a scholarship. Poor enough to need student loans but not poor enough to receive grants. I was one of those students and I will admit this is why the article’s comment section angered me and brings me to reason number two: Some students reach their stride in college, excelling beyond most expectations when, previously, they were mediocre.

I performed alright in high school and I had my preferred subjects and my hated ones and that was made abundantly clear on my grade reports. Moreover, I was bored out of my mind in high school and the teachers were either condescending or apathetic. This is not a friendly environment for a blossoming intellect and it is too often the norm in schools. While I went to good public schools, the format of instruction was not helpful to me. I have always found myself at ease in adult conversations, being the youngest in my family and so learned to converse and think on a level beyond my age group. So I disliked being treated like an idiot child by teachers who assumed that my age warranted such treatment. In university, my professors have treated me with the respect earned by a human being. I am able to voice my opinions and they sit and listen even if I may be wrong. Then we discuss. Discuss. Classes may be called lectures but they are conducted as discourses. This is what I needed all along.

Consequently, I have earned straight A’s several times, though not all the time, but I maintain a GPA ranging from 3.5-3.7 at my very expensive and very competitive and very private Catholic university. How many people can say that about their grades in college? But I actually feel engaged and part of my learning process. I even gained an appreciation for math that I did not have before and I earn better grades because of it. My troubles with math were always interesting because I have always loved science. All of them, especially astronomy. But if those commenters I mentioned had their way, I wouldn’t be in university.

Believing that students who come from families that don’t earn upper six-figure salaries (at least) do not deserve higher education sets up a caste system with little chance of upward mobility. I am sure that quite a few of them who made the suggestion would have no problem with this. There are many who come from families that are still upset that the unwashed masses, women and ethnic minorities included, have such relatively easy access to the very education that was used against them as the reason why they had to “stay in their place”. The playing field is becoming more equal thanks to this college education and the system of privilege is being proven for the cruel hoax it is.

My final reason to protest the classist statement is the assumption that grades are equal to intelligence. Now, I just celebrated my GPA, which was certainly well-earned at this university. More important is the fact that I can actually tell someone what I learned in a discussion and not merely regurgitating facts stuffed down my throat in the classroom. That is intelligence. I received (because I certainly don’t feel as though I earned them) an A average at a previous school. I didn’t do much thinking, I just showed up to class and repeated what the instructor said the session before.Yes, I am independently intelligent of those grades but those classes were about as challenging as tying my shoes.

There are plenty of people with fantastic grades who are idiots but because they know enough by rote and can repeat it on a Scan-Tron or fill-in-the-blank test like a pseudo-intellectual echo does not spell intelligence. Yet, this is enough to earn them a scholarship and be acceptable enough for the class warriors setting the bar on who deserves education.

There is something very wrong with this mentality. There remains significant portions of Americans who are denied quality education. We still have racism and sexism and other negative -isms that prevent progress in this arena. To truly overhaul the inequalities, the funding and leveling must begin with kindergarten and work its way up. That crowd is also of the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” type and I will say that on occasion that is exactly what someone needs to hear. Let’s face it, there are some genuinely lazy people out there who’d rather play “the [insert social inequality here] card” than make an attempt to better their life; they are not in the majority, though. However, considering the social inequalities that remain in unacceptable frequencies, those affected are not lazy: they’re disaffected. Call someone lazy, dumb, sub-par enough and make certain they know what they are not receiving that others are and yes, the stupidity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But it doesn’t have to.

As a society we must celebrate intellectualism instead of deriding it as snobbery or only important enough to use for four years to earn a degree that will get you a job where you’ll progress very little in many decades but prevents you from living in the municipal park and fighting squirrels for food*. This is another aspect of the comment section that I found paired with the classist statements. Some of the same commenters derided liberal arts education as “unnecessary”.

We all know the joke about English and History majors and how they end up at McDonald’s flipping burgers. Again, another class statement because who doesn’t want a Quarter Pounder on occasion? Alright, a vegetarian. But, nonetheless, I do not disparage those who do the job that I don’t want to ever do. Anyway, yes, in this society those degrees can often go to waste. Instead of asking why students choose them, ask why this country does not provide more careers in those fields? It is the opinion of the anti-liberal arts crowd that the only degrees worth having are those in business, law or medicine. In the same way that not everyone is cut out for university, not everyone is cut out for those fields. It does not make them stupid or useless.

So many enter schools of business, law or medicine out of fear of “not having a job after college” or having a “useless” degree representing nothing but debt. There are doctors practicing medicine right now who would rather paint, lawyers who’d rather wax philosophical about Epicurus versus Aristippus versus Mill and businesspersons who would rather read Civil War documents than a Statement of Cash Flows.

Blind Faith Patriots who believe America is the best country ever, and woe to those who protest that, yet want to deny their countrymen opportunity are hypocrites. We’re supposed to be the land of opportunity…oh sorry but not for you because you don’t have enough money to pay for school? America is better than the worst but it has a long way to go. We will never get there by denying a basic tool for success to the general populace.

*I actually saw a man fighting a squirrel over a chicken leg in the park. It was sad, funny and scary all at the same time.

Quote of the Day

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” -Madame Marie Curie

This is one of my favorite quotes. There is a great deal of truth in those words and should be heeded by everyone.

Companion Ethics

When I was researching this profession, I noticed many assurances against fraud, two of which I would like to comment upon here. One I noticed quite often was that Companions reassured potential clients that they will show up and stay for the entire time for which their encounter is contracted. The obvious and correct assumption is that some women who at least call themselves escorts or Companions are little more than con artists or swindlers. This is a crying shame and shows absolutely no respect for the profession; and it is, without a doubt, a profession at certain levels.

For example, "escorts" like this person who set back our efforts to be taken seriously by at least two centuries. Not only does this anger me as a Companion but as an ethical human being. I truly do not understand some people's motivations. That was unnecessary and only embitters clients against escorts and others in this line of work. Of course, the reverse happens more often than not, sometimes accompanied with violence. One of many reasons escorts and other sex workers want to and need to unionize though the law is a large barrier to that becoming a reality.

Then there is the issue of image. Specifically, whether the escort in the photograph will be the person who shows up for the date. When I was researching this profession, I was baffled to learn that some people will use pictures of other models completely misrepresenting themselves. What a way to show that you completely lack self-esteem. The thought of that has never entered my mind because I love the way I look and my clients will too. I present myself to the world: my thoughts, my motivation, my image, my passions...everything but my name for security purposes of course. This is a line of work where one must be comfortable with themselves before diving in. No picture would be better than a false one.

To some, this post is a thing of perversion. How can a woman like me be so concerned with ethics when I violate and flout the moral decorum of my society? Ethics, to me, are not mutually inclusive with sexual/sensual expression. If anything, as I became comfortable with my sexuality and sensuality and truly embraced it, that is when I treated my fellow human beings with more respect. My actions are not those that cause physical harm upon others, nor do they cruelly take advantage of another. I respect my fellow human being and have no reason to cause harm unprovoked. I respect clients because they have earned it and they respect me because I have also earned it. This is because I love myself and when you have that self-love, it encompasses all those around you.

Companions understand this as a Golden Rule of our profession: we love others as we love ourselves.

Ninon Baccara, The Voluptuous Libertine

The Sensuality of Books

I have at best a cynical reaction to reading devices such as Amazon's Kindle as seen above. I can understand the advantages of such technology for people who have a handicap for which these devices are a boon. My mother is one such person and she would enjoy the ability to read her beloved books again. For everyone else, however, I mourn the loss of the sensory and tactile enjoyment of holding an actual book with pages in your hand. I didn't have this reaction to books on tape or later, CD-ROM because I could see some universal advantage in that both for people who may have a handicap preventing traditional reading and for people who would like this as entertainment while driving over long distances. Obviously, not the time to hold a book in your hands.

Beyond the hopefully entertaining story held within, the sensual nature of books is one of the reasons I enjoy reading so much. I love the smell of new books fresh from Borders, Powell's, Books-A-Million or Barnes and Noble. I love the smell of old books from small, independent stores that buy and resell old books, a great resource to find tomes that have long since been out of print to public or school libraries. I even enjoy the smell of magazines, even those without all the parfum and cologne samplers stuck inside and of course, newspapers. The feel of the paper as I turn the page, even the glossies. I can remember what I read better from an actual paper page than from a webpage, even as I blog like crazy and read international newspapers online. But I still keep a traditional diary and buying a newspaper a couple times a week. I would love to have parchment, a fountain pen or a quill and ink to write with. This from a member of the MTV generation.

I recall an episode of one of my absolutely favorite, geek fangirl shows, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The librarian Rupert Giles, who I consider very handsome and fuels some of my more erotic dreams, had a conversation about the difference between computers and paper print with the school's gorgeous computer science teacher Jenny Calendar. Mr. Giles was very adamant against using computers as a research source and really did not want anything to do with them at all. Ms. Calendar asked him why he was so bothered by them and he told her because of their smell. She replies that computers do not smell. He agreed, saying:

I know. Smell is the most powerful trigger to the memory there is. A certain flower, or a...a whiff of smoke can bring up experiences long forgotten. Books smell musty and...and...and rich. The knowledge gained from a computer is a - it, uh, it has no...no texture, no...no context. It's..it's there and then it's gone. If it's to last, then...then the getting of knowledge should be, uh, tangible, it should be, um, smelly.

Amazon Kindle and others of its generation don't smell and for me the reading done on it will be fleeting. I'm saddened by the idea that in less than five years time, most likely, major newspapers will cease to exist outside of their online forms. In another twenty years, if we really do establish a nationwide broadband system, even small town newspapers will be digitized. I am not opposed to the development of technology, I'm not that much of a Luddite, but to quote Giles again, I don't have the "knee-jerk assumption that just because something is new, it's better". I think society on the whole has this reaction of new=better and quite honestly it doesn't always.

The scent of the printed word, be it musty or fresh, tells its own story. Especially in libraries and vintage bookstores where the books have been borrowed, bought, sold, and have the smell of life. Yellowed pages, the random fingerprint or two, pages dog-eared, passages underlined or highlighted, comments written in the margins...even if the information or the story the book holds is boring or out of date or whatever, its less than pristine status is far more exciting. That book has probably had more of a life, and has traveled more places than the average person. The book has been appreciated for sure.

Ninon Baccara, The Voluptuous Libertine

More on Kissing

"Kissers" by Rodin

Apparently kissing has many health benefits. According to a Japanese study, kissing relieves sneezing and sniffling because it slows down histimine production. What a great alternative to Sudafed! I will have to keep that in mind come March. Supposedly, kissing also stops hiccups. While this sounds interesting, I would not mind doing a few field studies myself. Of course, only with a willing partner, so don't randomly smooch someone with a bad case of the sniffles. A tissue will probably be best.

Black Roses

My adopted surname, Baccara, is in honor of a beautiful and rare "black" rose. Black roses aren't actually black, but the darkest of red. Their soft, delicate petals are lush and velvety. Exotic. Beautiful. Decadent. Fascinating. The black rose is a powerful symbol for me and perhaps for all Companions. From far away this rose looks "black" and observers assume from a distance that this rose is "black" and that is the extent of its reality. But those who get close, who wish to look past the exterior will appreciate the rose's complexity: the color isn't actually black, but deep red, preternaturally beautiful, the scent is sultry and the flower itself, luxurious to the touch.

I am the beautiful, decadent, exotic "black" rose.

More on black roses can be found here: Black Roses: Magic and Mysticism.

Ninon Baccara, The Voluptuous Libertine

Kiss me...there

I like to read the blog of Twanna A. Hines, who is also known by the moniker Funky Brown Chick. She has a post on her blog, "Kissing Naughty Places" and she asks her readers where we like to be kissed the most. Of course, I wanted to share where I like to be kissed. It may come in handy someday. *wink*

~The place right at the meeting of my breasts, with my bra on. I have no idea why this spot is so delightfully sensitive, but it is. Of course, only a lucky few are gifted with the opportunity to experience this bit of sensuality first hand.

~On the inside of my arm, opposite the elbow.

~A traditional spot, on the neck. Kissing from there up to my earlobe, with the softest and shiest of licks, just makes me melt like ice cream on a summer day.

~The small of my back. I'm very partial to that spot.

~And, finally, on the lips. Softly. Sensually. Passionately.

Ninon Baccara, The Voluptuous Libertine

The Necessary Frivolity of Pleasure

"Pleasure is the object, the duty and the goal of all rational creatures." -Voltaire

The pursuit of pleasure is often seen as frivolous at best or immoral at worst. On the more socially acceptable end is pursuing non-sexual pleasure: going to an amusement park, vacation, taking a "sick" day. All of these pursuits are approved of because talking about your activities there and how they made you feel, hopefully better, doesn't make anyone uncomfortable. Unfortunately, even these pleasures can be suspect to those with a strong Puritan work ethic. Taking a vacation when they think the office needs them more fills them with a heavy guilt, as does taking a sick day when no illness is present. With the advent of pocket-sized technology that keeps people connected all the time, you never really have to leave the office behind. How miserable is that? But, luckily for me, I really love my office space!

Needless to say the pursuit of pleasure on the so-called "immoral" end are those of sex and eroticism. We all know why this is but, personally, this is my favorite way to pursue pleasure. After all, that's why I do what I do. It is the sorrow of our culture that we view sex and eroticism as some sort of curse or necessary evil. I refuse to approach sex and the erotic in shame and sorrow; this helps no one. Of course, this is the pursuit of pleasure between two consenting adults.

I am what is called an ethical hedonist. I enthusiastically and unabashedly pursue pleasure, especially the erotic. With gusto, one might say. However, I do not pervert this pursuit by manipulating others into situations they wouldn't have consented to otherwise. That I don't understand either. Where is the fun in sex and the sensual if you had to force someone to do it with you? I pursue pleasure for the sake of pleasure, a noble end in and of itself in my opinion. This pursuit, however, never interferes to the detriment of other parts of my life; to the contrary it enhances them greatly.

Having pleasure in ones life, be it sexual or not, makes life worth living. It relieves the stress of daily routine, the stress that builds up and, if not relieved, makes people snap. Restricting or denying yourself an outlet for stress is a recipe for disaster. So why continue to fret about this? Do something that makes you happy because most likely it will make others happy too. I truly believe our world would be so much better and with so much less strife and conflict if pleasure was respected.

The pursuit of pleasure is always more fun with a Companion.

Ninon Baccara, The Voluptuous Libertine

The Sky Was Made of Diamonds*

The Pearl Cluster- Southern Hemisphere

I was fortunate enough to travel to Sydney, Australia the summer before my eighth grade year with my dance team. We went there for an international dance conference and it was the first time many of the girls in my group ever traveled outside of the country. The furthest I traveled outside of the United States at that point was to Canada where my godparents lived for a time. However, this was the first opportunity I received to travel so far away from America; even better, without my parents! Our dance instructor and two other female teachers from our school served as chaperones and we all were boarded with host families, which was a treat in itself.

Australia is a beautiful country and I truly hope I have the chance to travel there again. Very soon. My trip took place about fifteen years ago and at that time in 1994 Sydney was in preparations to host the 2000 Summer Olympics. I got to see the beginning stages of the venues' construction. I was impressed by the overall cleanliness of the country, a stark contrast to the average American city. The people were absolutely fantastic, though the ones I met all asked me if I was a Baywatch fan like they were. I wasn't. While all of them had heard of Chicago, they really did not have too many reference points for the city, excluding the then-Tallest Building in the World status that belonged to the Sears Tower, as most Hollywood movies focus on Los Angeles and New York City.

The most stunning view in the country was not the Sydney Opera House or the Blue Mountains or Darling Harbor, though all of those sites were gorgeous. No, my fondest memories were of the night sky in Sydney. Being born and bred within the city limits of Chicago, I saw very few stars at night. I have always loved looking at the few constellations I could see such as the Big Dipper, Little Dipper, Orion, Cassiopeia, and on occasion the Pleiades among others. Of course, Venus and Mars are also viewable even though the light and general air pollution in the city. I had never traveled far enough outside of the city to truly see an unobstructed view; even visiting friends in the Chicago suburbs did not provide this. Looking at stars in pictures just isn't the same as seeing them in person.

But in Sydney...oh, the stars are breathtaking! Sure, it is the Southern Hemisphere and I would never see those stars again until I travel south of the equator. The sky itself looks like the richest, lushest black velvet and the stars the most flawless of diamonds. Even in Sydney, I saw more stars dance across the firmament than I ever did in Chicago. A dance class my group attended ran into the night and it was this site that greeted me as we left. Looking at the reactions on our faces, a casual observer could tell we probably lived in the city our entire lives. I remember standing there and saying one word, "Whoa."

My host family took me into the Blue Mountains the next day, as it was a free day for the conference attendees. As we were preparing to leave the mountains that night, I could see the Milky Way and the Magellanic Clouds, the Crux and so many other constellations I knew nothing about at the time. It was then that I had, in hindsight, my first existential moment. I realized how small human beings are. How small our planet is. Wondering how insignificant I was in the larger scheme of things. Was there anything I could do on Earth that mattered besides merely existing? For a brief instant, I felt as though the stars were almost suffocating. They were so many and we were so few. I felt surrounded.

While this feeling of smallness did not instill an inferiority complex in me, it did make me appreciate what we have here. Our only home. From that point on, I did begin to question religious and even scientific claims that we are the only people in the galaxy. Of course, we can argue until the end of the world whether or not this in true until we obtain conclusive, beyond a reasonable doubt proof, but for me the universe grew a-million fold. I viewed the universe from this point on as worthy of respect as a whole and later understanding that every last piece of matter in the universe, well, mattered. Stargazing for me is a spiritual experience, one many people have and that requires no religious belief at all.

*Dr. Who fans will appreciate the reference made in the title.

A Date With Ninon

(originally titled, "An Evening With Ninon")

What would an evening with the Voluptuous Libertine be like? I'm sure you all are just dying to know. I've decided to write a post about the ideal encounter. Naturally, this will vary a little bit depending on the date's planned events but not too much I would hope.

We meet in a lovely, upscale tavern, lounge or restaurant such as Alinea or Rebar, where the patrons are well-dressed and sophisticated. I will be dressed to match, most likely in the staple of every woman's evening wardrobe, the black dress. While it follows my curves and shows enough leg to be fashionable but not so much as to be vulgar. Fashionable jewelry and cosmetics that enhance the beauty Nature blessed me with. My excitement and anticipation for our time together beaming through, glowing. In short, well-dressed and sophisticated. We spot each other across the room, meet and greet with my bright smile, customary warm hug and Continental kisses.

At our table and after ordering a glass of wine or other drink of choice, we handle the necessary business. I am handed my gift requirement, which is situated in an envelope with my name on it within a gift bag, magazine or perhaps a book you noticed on my reading list that I have yet to purchase. That out of the way, we continue with our evening. Perhaps we stay for dinner and chat about a variety of topics from fine art to travel, society, politics, entertainment, astronomy or even the weather. Maybe after our drinks we proceed to an art exhibit, the opera or symphony, a private party or other event.

And afterward? A nightcap? A sensually prolonged kiss goodnight? Who knows what will happen between two (or more) consenting adults? The night must write itself.

Or perhaps we are not meeting for an evening but a morning or afternoon. A trip to the Art Institute, free in February, or MoMA or maybe something more avant-garde like Gallery Provocateur. We could ride the ferris wheel at Navy Pier, visit Millennium Park or Lincoln Park Zoo among a variety of fun Chicago sites. Afterward we will have a decadent lunch at Wave, Sixteen, or The Lobby at Peninsula. It may be that we must appear to be having a business meeting and I arrive dressed appropriately and professionally in a well-appointed suit. If our date is on a day in the late spring or early summer, a picnic in the park or on the lakefront. Again, how the date will end is entirely up to us, though I have every assurance that it will be one of mutual pleasure.

I don't know about you, but I'm anxious to have a date to explore, discover and satisfy my burning curiosity. Read the rest of my site and then email me.

Ninon Baccara, The Voluptuous Libertine

My Moral Compass

We live in a society where morality is primarily tied with sexual conduct. If one's sexuality falls outside the accepted mainstream then it and the person is considered inextricably immoral. Even though the sexuality is usually a private affair consented to by all parties, others feel as though they alone retain the right, nay the duty, to judge the other person and find them wanting. These same people can and will produce a wide variety of rather dubious statistics to buttress their claims that a sexually repressed society is a moral one.

Unfortunately, this creates an environment where many actual crimes committed by the "moral majority" are considered irrelevant. We are asked, at this point, to accept or ignore the choices made by our so-called moral superiors that actually resulted in verifiable harm that we certainly did not consent to. For example, a government that seeks to police every sexual encounter between consenting adults within its country, yet promotes war, condones stealing and lying, hatred and bigotry. While the latter are truly causes for concern, the good citizenry is distracted by scandals involving the former. Surely there are sexual encounters between consenting adults that condone lying to an extent, though that is hardly on the same level as lying about the motivation to enter yet another war or how we treat enemies in our custody.

With regard to morality in sex, I feel that so long as one, two (or more!) consenting adults are involved, then do as you may. I am not a fan of monogamy at all and I think the majority of humans worry themselves sick trying to meet an ideal that is simply not in our nature. This holds true for men and women, despite the supposed "natural" expression of monogamy in women. Without going off on a complete tangent, women are separated from their sexuality from a very young age thanks to the double standard of the Madonna-Whore complex and many never reconcile with their sex. It is unfortunate and causes innumerable problems, the least of which is extreme jealousy and possessiveness. The Myth of Monogamy by Drs. David P. Barash and Judith Lipton is an excellent resource on this subject.

As a human being, I make sure my actions will not cause irreparable harm to another. Isn't this the point of morality? It never enters my mind to actually physically harm another or say something horrible just because I can, despite dark thoughts we all have at moments. This is what separates a civilized, respectful person from the brute. To me, this is the role of morality.

Ninon Baccara: The Voluptuous Libertine