Delightfully Cheesy

I often complain about the dearth of quality entertainment in film or television. The latter especially with the excellent Battlestar Galactica leaving the air after a commendable four seasons. I have a growing interest in independent films that hopefully I can spend the summer investigating. Despite this, I possess a guilty pleasure in watching really bad, horribly acted films and television. I know the exact cause: growing up watching Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Watching a bad movie and making well-timed, witty, sarcastic comments is a pleasure in itself, but one that needs to be shared with a kindred spirit. Actual cheese is fantastic and a cheesy movie is like heaven.

Hulu provides great cheesy cinema. If you’re a fan of this rather snarky past time, I want to pass on a few recommendations:

1. Robot Holocaust- Something about the word ‘robot’ in the title of a film just screams cheese. Bad, stinky cheese. I attempted to watch this movie but was inexplicably knocked unconscious. It really was that bad.

2. Horror Express- Titles can make or break a movie. But a movie this bad deserves a title like Horror Express. Like so many bad movies, the premise is interesting but the execution just plain…sucks. Unlike the cinematic gem that is Robot Holocaust, Horror Express has a rather star-studded cast: Count Dooku, Grand Moff Tarkin and Kojak… that is to say Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing and Telly Savalas.

3. Instant Star- Not a movie but a Canadian-produced television show that I’ve always described as “American Idol on crack”. It follows the burgeoning music career of a fictional character named Jude Harrison after she wins Canada’s version of Idol as a fifteen-year-old high school student. Obviously drama and unintentional hilarity ensues. Few young actors are as talented as Dakota Fanning, Tatum O’Neal, Jodie Foster or Christina Ricci were in their youth (well, Dakota is still young) but at first the actress playing Jude, Alexz Johnson, was green. Her voice squeaked and she tended to be overly dramatic. She grew as an actress as the series progressed, though the show itself was still rather cheesy. As much as I criticized it, I was heartbroken to hear of its cancellation last summer. Depending on where you are in the world, finding episodes of Instant Star are difficult but for me, well worth the effort.

I am sure I will find others. This has become a bit of a quest for me, though not quite of the “Holy Grail” caliber. Of course, watching and riffing on some quality cheese is a fantastic idea for a date with a prospective client who is of the same mind. Imagine: a bowl full of popcorn, beverages of choice, a relaxed atmosphere and a movie to bring tears of laughter and disbelief to our eyes. Great fun!